Black Star High
by ResistanceKnight
Summary: Fangirls. The bane of every main character's existance. However, Gohan has finally assended to that main character possition, and can't wait to make use of everything that go with it. But like most things in his life, things just dont go his way.
1. Fangirls here I come!

**~Black Star High~**

Chapter 1 – Fangirls, here I come!

As it was written, so it shall be. What was written one might ask? Like any Gohan and Videl fanfic, this one starts in the morning, because the morning is always the best place to start. It wasn't just any other morning for Gohan Son though. Oh no. Today was his first day of high-school. And that meant one thing, and one thing only.

Fangirls.

He'd only heard rumors of them, from both his father and Vegeta...mostly from Vegeta. They sounded fascinating to say the least. Hot girls at your beck and call, they'd do whatever he wanted them too. He'd been waiting for this day for the last seven years. Rolling off his bad ass one handed win over Cell, he was sure that this would be his time to shine. Every single girl in school would spot him right away, and it would be smooth sailing after that. No more putting up with his crazy mother. No more little brother to annoy the crap out of him. It would just be him...and the ladies. There was nothing that could stand in his way. Absolutely positively nothing. Nothing at all. Nada mucha.

And that's when he saw the red pants, white long sleeve shirt, and black vest that his mother had lain out for him.

"Well...this doesn't bode well..."

-BSH-

"Look, this is all just a misunderstanding!" said the man in a ski-mask with a gun standing over the cop with the gun shot out of his hand.

Even as the other men ins ski masks filled up bags full of cash, he continued to plead his innocence. "Look, Steve, we've told you a thousand times! We really are robbing this place! And didn't you shoot that cop?"

"Don't listen to him! We're all just here to test the security of the banks! ... And to be honest, it could use some work. Oh, the cop? Of course he's still a live, what, you thought I was actually gonna shoot someone? Look, I don't have three personality's, okay? Just the two!"

"Steve, no one's gonna get that reference!"

"Well, we just can't shoot anyone, okay? That be stepping waaaay out of our nameless character roles."

"Then why'd we even bring guns?"

"Hey, this isn't 4kids. Be happy we even get guns. I heard the guys over at Yugioh don't even get that."

"...we really should talk to our union about that."

"Dammit you two morons, get in the remote control truck before someone shows up here to arrest us!"

"Don't listen to him! We're really not robbing this bank blind!"

"Steve, truck, now!"

Meanwhile, across the street...

"I can't believe this bs. There's a bank robbery going on in the middle of bloody town, they have at least six or seven guys, all whom seem to have automatic weapons, and they sent one cop car with two men who happen to only have pistols here to stop them?"

"Just another day on the force. Pass the donuts."

"No! I will not, pass, the damn donuts! I don't give a damn that we have Hercule Satan and his daughter here to protect the city. We're the cops! The blue! The fuz! Are you seriously telling me, a grown man, to sit back and wait for a 17 year old girl to come save me?"

"That's pretty much the deli-o, so...donuts?"

It was that scene that Gohan happened upon. He nearly passed it, what with his one track mind dead set on getting to school as fast as possible so he could be named a god among men and to have the fangirls come worship him. But, he did notice, and a smile passed over his face.

"This is perfect! All I gotta do is go super, and act as cool as I can while I save the day! No way it'll backfire. Today's gonna be a good day, nerdy cloths or not."

Hiding behind a tree, the saiyan transformed. His hair turned gold and his eyes turned teal, along with his muscles slightly bulking up. Jumping into the fray before the cop car looked any more like swiss cheese, it only took two kicks to take two of the crooks that were still outside the trunk out of commission. Landing in the bed, he turned to the third.

"Holy crap, look at that hair! Its a ninja! Eat lead!"

Gohan smiled, catching ever single bullet that came his way. Finally, when the bugler's clip ran out, Gohan's smile grew even more bad ass as he dropped every single bullet.

"Pirate for life~"

"Grrr! Why can't I hit you!"

"Heh, you didn't say please!"

The robber growled, reloading his gun. "Please? Okay then...please!"

More bullets rained down on Gohan, but once again he caught all the bullets, only to drop them.

The robber was startled to say the least. "You...what...what are you!"

"Who am I? I am the hope of the universe. I am the answer to all living things that cry out for peace. I am protector of the innocent. I am the light in the darkness! I am tr-...Wait, wrong speech. Just a sec...okay, okay here we go. Who am I? Who am I? Who are YOU! Why, I auta smack you aside the head!"

And that was just what Gohan did, smacked the robber aside the head with his foot.

"Ya know, now that I think about it I'm pretty sure that first speech was the right one..."

As he landed on the ground, the remote control truck started to zoom off as the last two robbers tried to make their get away. Gohan just turned around and faced his palm towards the truck. "Hey, where ya going without the remote?"

"Dammit Steve! You left the remote back there didn't you?"

"We aren't don't anything wrong! He won't stop us!"

"Are you dumb or just that stupid!"

"Left – right – up – down- A – B – A – B!" And just as Gohan hit b on the control, the remote control car did a front flip, crashing as it skidded across the road into a pole.

Holding up his hand in a failed attempt to stop the crashing process, Gohan gulped when he saw the damage he caused. "Whoops...well, no chance of getting fangirls here."

Fazing out of view and behind the tree where his book bag was at, he powered down, picked up the bag, and got ready to make a hasty retreat. And it was then that Gohan's first fangirl showed up. The only problem for Gohan, she was so advanced in her sickness that she was about to evolve into the only thing that made fangirls scary.

A stalker.

The girl however didn't even know how far along she was, and so she approached Gohan unknowing of her sickness. The inhumanity of it all. "You, what happened here? The cops are way to incompetent to pull this kind of destruction and mayhem off."

"You know, its really out of character when teenagers use huge words when they never broke past two syllables in the show."

The girl's eyes narrowed, a glare hitting Gohan straight on, causing his defenses to greatly fall. "Why are you dancing around the question? Are you guilty? I think you're guilty!"

"Wh-what? I didn't dodge the question. I was merely pointing something out-"

"I knew it! You're totally guilty! Place you're hand behind your head you criminal scum!"

"But I only knocked the guys out! I didn't commit a crime, why would you arrest me for that?"

"So you admit it!"

Gohan and to blink at that. Great galaxies she got him, and she got him good. Within seconds infact.

"Uhh...Oh look, its the highest pitched man alive to give you an explanation!"

"Wait, what?" That threw the girl off, just long enough for Gohan to slip past and make a break for school.

Like nails on a chalkboard, the man ran up to the girl. "HeeEE**E**EEeey Videl! Did you see that? That golden fighter was iinncreeEE**E**EEeedible!"

Videl started to feel dizzy, and had to stair at the ground in order to not fall over from the shear pitch of it all. Shaking her head, she tried to remember who she had been talking to before this guys voice physically assaulted her ears. To her annoyance, she couldn't remember a thing that had happened in the last twenty minutes. Pity, it seemed important at the time too.

-BSH-

"Remind me again Sharpner, what did I do this morning?"

"I'm telling you, I asked you out early this morning outside your house and you said yes." Sharpner wasn't exactly sure what was going on himself, but he was going to use this memory loss to its fullest.

"That just doesn't sound like me. And then how do you explain that bruise on your neck?"

"Oh, this? This just happens to be the hick-" Next thing the blond knew, he was flying. And the next thing after that was that he had stopped. Abruptly. Against a wall.

"I'll put my money on that being from my fist rather than my face."

The nerd infront of the three giggled, to himself, as he smiled at his own little joke. "Hehe, that's what she said...hehe."

"So, like, Videl. Did you, like, here about the Gold Fighter, like, who showed up at the bank? Do you think he's, like, stronger than your pops?"

Videl's face contorted as she tried to think. Gold Fighter? Bank? Why'd that all sound so familiar?

Before Videl could figure it out, or answer for that matter, the teacher walked in. Quickly the students organized their things and turned to pay attention to the man.

"All right. I got some fresh blood for you monsters. Try and make it last, I don't know when we'll get our next transfer student, and I don't want this one to go to the Satan Insane Asylum as quickly as the last one."

The class replied in unison. "Yes Mr. Madison."

Turning to the door, the teacher then raised his voice. "All right boy, you can come in now."

The saiyan on the other side smiled. He had heard everything, but he wasn't worried. One look at him, and he'd rock this nerd look. The morning might not have gone so great, but that was just the world telling him to give one last hard push. This was his moment. His day in the sun. Not that he didn't miss his father or anything, but he was the main character now. It was all him.

Taking a step in, the boy smiled his best smile. He even entertained the idea of partially going super saiyan, to give him that extra golden glow just to make the effect all that stronger.

Any time now they'd be all over him.

Any time...

Pretty soon...

"This here is Gohan. He got perfect scores on his tests. I know I'm feeding you things to make fun of him with, but pretend not to here me. He's also pretty scrawny. Kinda pale... Weird hairdo. Funny name."

"We got it teach. He's a weirdo."

Gohan was about ready to smack a fool. Didn't they know he was the main character now? That was until a blond in the back row, who seemed to have red eyes for some reason, smiled and waved him over.

Videl was scared. Okay, she wasn't scared, but her friend's eyes did suddenly turn red with yellow numbers running along the bottom. It was cause enough for alarm.

"E-Erasa? You okay?"

"Like, manly sensors off the scale. Target is, like, totally a hunk."

Gohan smiled. Well, at least the hottest girl in the room knew what she was talking about. Walking up, he smiled confidently as he took his seat.

"Hey, I'm Gohan. What's _your_ name?"

Totally best line ever. Soon Gohan, soon they'll be all over you!

The red in the girls eyes calmed down, and she seemed startled as she took her seat, like she wasn't sure why she was standing or something. "My name's, like, Erasa. That's, like, with an E."

"...there's really not that many ways to spell Erasa."

"Oh you, like, are so funny! Say, do you, like, live close by? Wanna, like, ditch school? Wanna, like, play hooky? Wanna..."

As Sharpner pulled himself out of the wall, Videl looked over the new kid. He was so familiar looking. She knew she had seen him before. Just...where?

"Hey, new kid. Have I stalked you before?"

"I have no idea, but if you can't get this crazy woman to stop saying like I'm gonna blow her to flipping kingdom come! I'm not even bluffing, cause, well...I really can do that."

"Hey, like, is anyone listening to me?"

Sharpner took his seat, rubbing his soar head. "You mean that tube top over there can talk? Since when?"

"Anyway, like, do you know who this girl is? She's, like, the daughter of Hercule Satan!"

"The who now?"

Sharpner huffed, and nearly puffed, but he answered anyway. "You mean to tell me you've never heard of the guy who saved our lives? Where have you been for the last seven years."

I've been dealing with my mother, don't try to act smart ya blond. And for nine of those months she was pregnant. Imagine a Chi-Chi, and now think of how she would act with a baby saiyan in her.

Whatever you're thinking is the reason they didn't show those seven years. They didn't just skip over that for no real reason. Believe me.

"Anyway, who's this Hercule guy?"

"He's the guy who, like, beat Cell."

"...come again?"

"My dad, beat Cell. You know, its rather suspicious that you've never heard of him. Are you hiding something. Have you ever had a girl friend? Are you hiding her from me!"

"What...in the world are you talking about?"

"Well let's keep this moving. Gohan, where do you live? Could you give me your phone number? Email? Social Security number? Let me put this tracker on your backpack?"

"...I live in the 439 Mountain Area. And to be honest I don't really feel like telling you the rest...cause you're kinda creeping me out...like a lot."

To that, Erasa stood up, shocked to say the least. "OMG, like, no way! That's got to be, like, a five hour flight!"

"Well, actually I got a pimpin ride. Gets me here and back in a half hour. Maybe if you're lucky I'll show it to you later. It's a one-seater, but I'll make room for you." Boo-ya, nailed that line. Good thing I practice that one infront of the mirror for two hours last night.

"Hey, kids in the back, shut your faces before I bring out the ruler! I have and will smack a child!"

-BSH-

"All right kids. Before my roid rage hits, let's get in a good game of baseball."

"Uh, coach, shouldn't we be warring helmets?"

"Does it really look like I give a damn?"

Sharpner turned to the new guy, a look of pure exaggeration on his face. "So new guy, ever play baseball before."

"Actually I had Yamcha, the best player in the league train me. I'm even better than him, he said so himself." said Gohan as he smiled. Now the fangirls would have to love him! They just had to!

"Ya, right. Cut the crap and get into right field."

"Wha...but I'm serious Videl. I know Yamcha the Scar-faced Bandit personally!"

"Sure, and next you'll say you're the son of a princess and a world martial arts master."

"...but...I..."

"Right field nerd boy."

"Oh...fine."

Nerd boy, what that girl on calling him nerd boy? He could take this city block with one sneeze if he was serious. Well, he'd show her. It didn't take long, a baseball was finally hit towards him.

"Yoink!"

And to everyone's surprise, the nerd just jumped at least three or four stories up to catch an easy home run ball. While mid air, a smug smirk covered Gohan's face. Time to keep you're eye on ball!

And with a toss, the ball left his hand easily moving over two hundred and twenty miles an hour and gaining speed. The third baseman put his arm out by a shear act of instinct, but the ball hit his glove and took his hand clean with it as it ripped it off.

"...my bad!"

Gohan sighed as he sat down on the bench. Despite the injury, they'd keep playing. This gym teacher really wanted to get fired for negligence. Though in his defense, he was somehow able to reattach the arm on the field, with cpr.

Gohan wasn't even sure if that was possible, or why the gym teacher seemed to enjoy it so much, but it was something to see none the less. Crazy alternative medicine techniques...

"Hey dude, I think its your turn to bat...try not to kill anyone."

"Huh, oh right! My turn to hit!" Walking up to the plate, Gohan started to give himself the pep talk of a lifetime.

Okay, no pressure. Every single conceivable thing has gone utterly wrong today, but if I can establish myself as a jock I should be fine. Now...what are the rules of baseball again? Crap, I really should have had Yamcha teach me how to play. Umm...Umm...crap...crap...!

Sharpner, like usual, wasn't really sure what was going on...but this school all ready had a top jock. And he wasn't about to give up his spot to this new kid. Time to aim for his pretty boy face.

And the pitch! Gohan was still unsure of what he was exactly suppose to do. Curses, he should have paid attention when he was in the outfield. Was it soccer you could use your head, or was that baseball? Did he swing this bat and try to hit the ball, or was he suppose to save the bate for later when he was running around the bases? To be honest, keeping it sounded like a good strategy.

Before he could make up his mind though, the ball was all ready closing in on his face when a memory popped into his head. One that went something like 'Gohan, use Headbutt!'.

Panicking, that's what he did. "Gohan! Gooohan!"

The ball smacked him in the face, of course not fazing him in the slightest. Quickly Gohan took off running towards the first baseman with his metal bat, ready to swing. The coach...and everyone else, to speechless to form coherent words, just watched as Gohan took out the second player of the day.

-BSH-

As Gohan was walking, home, a girl named Videl happened to be following him. Looking back as he rounded a corner he noticed her. Great, no fangirls, but ninja's were trying to follow him already? Maybe he shouldn't have announced he was a pirate so soon.

Crafty evil ninjas.

In an instant, he flew up to the top of a large building, causing the ninja to be startled and look around. "Silly ninja. At least the pirate wasn't a complete copy of dad."

Jumping up, Gohan sat on the nimbus as he flew towards West City, stroking his chin as he thought.

"Well...this day went straight to crap. I'll definitely need new cloths if I'm going to salvage my image after today. I should also track this Mr Satan down...and when I find this guy...his fangirls shall be mine! … Maybe Bulma can help with the threads. Well, off to Bulma's!"

**Author's Annotation:**

And so, the story of Black Star High begins. I've never been one to respect the fourth wall, so this works pretty good actually. The next episodes should be easier to write. Kinda hard to set up jokes right off the bat, so the first one is always the hardest. At any rate, stay tuned!


	2. Being Original

**~Black Star High~**

Chapter 2 – Being Original

"So that's the plan Bulma. To tell the truth I think its a great idea, but be honest with me. From one genius to another, do you think it will work?"

Taking a nice long drag from her cigarette, the blue haired woman dressed in a green dress that didn't really leave much to the imagination looked at the spiky haired teen.

"I'm an honest person Gohan. Especially with you. And to be honest, I think you're crazy."

"But I have have to. My style is the most important thing if I want to be popular! Besides, people called your father crazy when he was trying to invent Capsules, right? I mean, they do break more laws of physics than I do. Yet here we are, capsules being used to solve more problems than card games."

"You know this could backfire really really really quickly. Wouldn't it be smarter just to play it safe? Besides...screw the physics my family has blue hair."

"No risk no reward Bulma. You know that."

"Oh...fine. Look's like I can't talk you out of it."

"Yup. From this day on...I will not quote any popular abridged series!"

"..." You could pretty much hear the wind blow by and the crickets do their thing in the background. "Wait...what were we talking about?"

"We're talking about the writing style Bulma. Why? What did you think we were talking about?"

"Erm, weren't we talking about you wanting new cloths?"

"Didn't we establish that you'd make them for me all ready? You are the woman here."

"And you're asken for a smacken."

"Ya ya, anyway. You pull out the sowing kit and I'll stop quoting some of the most popular parodies out there. Everyone's happy."

"But...why? Shouldn't you try to steal some of their success by blatantly ripping off their creative creation? What about God Damn it Nappa, or the space duck, David Bowie?"

"Bulma, where are you're morals! We should be original! That's the only way to truly carve out our own nitch."

"Son, I'm a scientist. Morals? Really?"

"Point taken."

"Anyway, I'll go make your outfit. Shouldn't take much longer than an hour or two. I'll even have it come in a capsule for convenience."

"See? More often than card games."

"Shove it. I'll put money on you copping out lots of times before the end.."

"Please, I can show more restraint than that. But shouldn't it take longer cause you'll run tests to make sure it works properly and doesn't accidentally sucks me in or something?"

"Scientist, not a hippy who cares about regulations. A scientist."

"Right right, well I'll go mess with Trunks for a while."

As Gohan made his way down one of the poorly decorated hallways of Capsule Corp, crooked paintings and all, Gohan closed in on the Gravity Room.

"Death the Kid would be very upset...oh, hey Trunks!"

The boy was currently toweling off his face, but looked up into the mirror infront of him when Gohan called his name. And when he answered back, the squeaky voiced man from the first chapter even had to double take. Hey, even he could voice act better than that. "Oh, hey Gohan!"

"...sweet Kami Guru, Trunks. Did you just hit Saiyan puberty or something?"

"My mom says its normal for boys my age!"

"Trust me...there's nothing normal about your voice."

"But my mom said-"

"Let's ask your father then." said Gohan just as the one and only Vegeta walked out from behind the door. "Hey Vegeta, how hard does Trunk's voice suck?"

Vegeta stopped, his eyes glancing over at the tall Gohan. "Do I really have to say it..."

"Yes, yes you do Vegeta. We all want to hear you say it."

"...fine. Its suckyness is over 9000. You happy?"

As the prince walked away, Gohan and Trunks just watched for a while before the youngest spoke up. "Its just...not the same anymore."

"Nonsense Trunks. If there's one thing I've learned from watching parodies, it's that repetition is funny."

"Y...you really think so?"

"If there's one thing I've learned from watching parodies, it's that repetition is funny."

"Gohan?"

"If there's one think I've learned-"

-BSH-

"So I just press the red button?"

"Yup, this way you can wear the clothes your mother wants you to have on when you leave, and quickly change into the clothes I installed into the system after you leave when your mom won't see you."

Little did Gohan know, but Bulma had taken the boldest colors she could find and threw them all together. A college toga party looked less ridiculous than what she had created. That's what he gets for saying something degrading of woman!

Still in his puberty/horrible voice acting voice, Trunks smiled. "Wow, he's breaking his mother's rules! He's my hero!"

"You say something boy who sounds like he wants my cooking?"

"Shutting up."

"Well, at least someone knows I'm a hero. Now, let's check this out." Pressing the button, outlines of light started to appear all over Gohan, outlining the clothes that were replacing the ones he had on now. Finally with one final flicker, the Saiyaman costume, antenna and all swapped clothes with the nerdy ones Gohan had on before.

"What...the...hell?"

Bulma just smiled proudly. Yes, she had gotten Gohan into the strangest outfit imaginable. Cosplayers be damned, this thing took the cake.

"This is...awesome!"

Wait, what? Bulma blinked, she couldn't believe it. He...he liked it?

"Thanks Bulma! This is better than I ever imagined possible! I'm gonna have to take extra care of these clothes. Thanks a bunch!"

And with a flash, he few away with Bulma and Trunks standing on the front lawn watching.

"So...why do you think the sun was setting at the end of the last episode, but it looks like its setting again right now?"

"God...damn it...you're voice acting really sucks right now."

"Oh shut up. I'd like to see you all voice act! Its not that easy!"

-BSH-

As Gohan flew home in his new outfit, he smiled to himself. This was so sleek and epic, it could save his reputation in a heartbeat! Bulma really outdid herself. Now...with all the fangirls that would be ravaging him sensually now, he would have to take extra care of it. Only flying around with it on...and maybe when he planned on looking epic. That way he could keep the suit in perfect condition.

Sounded like a perfect plan.

As he passed over Satan City, he saw one of those moments where he would need to look especially epic. A crazy driver in a yellow car was all over the road. Looked like a job for Gohan.

As he touched down infront of the car and it skidded to a halt however, he quickly realized he might not what to be associated with these people. Be it kicking their ass or not.

"Hey ya crazy idiot! Get out the way! We're on our way to an orgy, and if we're late I will kill you."

"Now wait friend. Check out his outfit. Maybe he saw the 69 on the side of our car so he jumped out to ask if he could join us."

"...huh?"

"Well, now that you mention it...it does look kinda kinky. With that tight...black...spandex...and that helmet...hiding his identity because of his shame...due to all the dirty things we'll do to him...ahhahahhhhh...Is that why you jumped out infront of us kid?"

Stomping his foot on the ground, a red faced Gohan quickly denied everything. This would make him all to popular with the wrong crowd if allowed to continue. He had managed to mostly avoid the yaoi community this long, like hell he was gonna get caught in that sticky web now.

Which is sad because that's usually how one gets fangirls...for some...odd...reason.

"No you idiots! I was being a positive role model by jumping out infront of a crazy speeding car in order to stop it. Duh. Now buckle up and drive slowly...or I will find you."

"Holy crap man! Did you see him make a crack in the road? Positive role model my sweet a-"

In the blink of an eye, Gohan picked up the car, got it out of the crack in the road, stuffed the two men inside, turned them around, explained to them the major points of safe sex, and then sent them on their way back home.

"Drive slow man...I, I think I'm gonna be sick."

"The stuff he said...there's no way he'd say all those discussing things about sex if he had ever had it before! Damn virgins ruing everything for us! Damn...I can't get those pictures out of my head!"

And thus the two men drove off, with Gohan standing proudly in the streets. And that's why you always carry a picture of a crab with you at all times. At ALL times. Sebastian was really photogenic after all!

-BSH-

"So Gohan, mind explaining why you're dressed like a drunk after only one day of school?"

"Oh, come on mom. Everyone dresses like this now a days."

"All right...come on. I know we're trying to establish that you're as thick as your father, but this is pushing it in a whole other direction."

"Now that's not true. What about the time dad came back from space when Trunks showed up? Or that outfit with the turban he showed up in at the tournament where he asked you to marry him? Admit it, out family has the best fashion sense ever. Period."

"I fear for Goten."

"Cracker be trippen, yo. Double Period."

Then a mini Goku walked in, dragging a fish behind him. "Whoa! Is that you Gohan? You look awesome!"

"I really will never have grandchildren...huh..."

"Thanks Goten. Someday I'll pass down these clothes to you so you can look as cool as me! Exclamation point!"

Normally Chi-Chi would have gone into attack mode by now, but the shock had gone full circle and now she had hit depression. Funny how stuff like that works.

-BSH-

"Make sure you pay attention as you fly to school. If you take down another air-plane because you weren't paying attention I won't forgive you."

"Got it mom. I'll make sure to pay attention."

"Hurry back big bro!"

Both brother's waving, Gohan took off as Goten watched.

"I know I didn't mention this before, but this little guy is Goten. Son of Goku. Like any Spartan warrior, Goku got more than his mouth present before leaving to go fight Cell so many years before. He's the son Goku never got to s-"

"Holy crap Goten! Its a narrator! Kill it with fire!"

"Wait, what?"

"Kamehameha!"

-BSH-

"So you see, the new energy molecule is very complex. In fact, I don't even know if I understand it. And you were wondering if those taxpayer dollars were being put to good use. Ha!"

As Gohan tried to not stare at the breasts hidden by a tub top sitting right next to him, he scribbled away at his book, working on his next plan of attack to get him some fangirls. It was then that the two guys infront of him started to talk about a certain someone.

"Did you hear about the new super hero, ay? I hear he's super strong and can fly, but he's still a virgin, ay."

"Hehe, what a loser, hehe."

Gohan looked up, slightly annoyed. Like that guy had ever gotten laid.

"Did you here his name, ay?"

"Hehe, he didn't give one, so the news started calling him Antenai-sama-sensei-sam-suma-sensei-kun, hehe. I think they should have called him fail! Hehe, cause he looked like, a fail and stuff, hehe. Get it? Its a joke, hehe."

At that point, Gohan felt the need to defend himself. Like hell he was going to let two characters who's combined screen time totaled 5 minutes bad talk him.

"Hey, those cloths were so cool you just can't comprehend how epic they were."

Now the entire class turned to face the new meat, I mean kid. The nerd infront of him was the first to talk however. "Hehe, well you would think that. Loser's have to stick together, hehe."

"Ya, you would think that ay."

The teacher even jumped in on the fun. "Ya Gohan. You would think that."

Gohan just sat back in his chair. He didn't know what to do...these people...they were just so...there was no way their combined IQ broke 100. Videl glanced over at Gohan, her mind running a mile a minute.

Was that kid really that lame? Why did he stick up for Antenai-sama-sensei-sam-suma-sensei-kun? Who was this Antenai-sama-sensei-sam-suma-sensei-kun, and where did this guy get off moving in on her turf? Was he really a virgin? Why can't ResistanceKnight come up with a half decent name? So many questions!

Before she could ask any of them however, her watch started to beep. The sound caught Gohan's attention as well.

"What's up chief?"

"The city's falling apart at the seams Videl! There's a cat in a tree, the donuts are running late, three hijackers took over a bus full of elderly that were meant to be sent to the crematory, and worst of all...Hercule is late for his press conference! We don't know what to do!"

Gohan nearly fell out of his chair. He did stand corrected though. Forget this class, this entire town probably couldn't break an IQ of 50.

"Well...I'll take care of the hijackers. Can you guys take care of everything else?"

"But Videl! That's...one...two...seven-"

"Three."

"-three things that we need to take care of by ourselves!"

"Well you'll have to deal with it!"

And with that, Videl rushed out of her seat and ran off. Gohan looked on curiously. "Where's she off to all of a sudden? She sick?"

Sharpner rolled his eyes. "Yes Gohan. The police called to give Videl the 411 on Satan City's problems just so she could go to the nurses office."

Gohan grumbled, but the tube top started talking before he could retort.

"Na, she, like, always goes out and fights crime for us. She's, like, pretty strong. Like, almost as strong as her father."

"Now, there ya go saying something like that again. This father of hers...he's the guy who beat Cell?"

"Like, yep."

"R-right...help jog my memory. What does he look like?"

"Afro. Mustache. Hairy chest. Come on mountain boy, get with the program."

Gohan let it run through his head. But for the life of him...he just couldn't figure out who this guy was. It sounded vaguely familiar...but it had been so long ago...

Shaking his head, he stood up. Whatever the problem was, this Videl chick, even though she was a stalker and a ninja, she would need help. And this would be a perfect time to use his cool new outfit! A little more press and boom, he'd be a household name with the girls drooling at the thought of him!

-BSH-

"Eat my rpg!"

One crook, shooting a role playing game, er, rocket propelled grenade out from the back of the bus, watched as his missile hit the target causing the cop car to suddenly explode into flames along with causing all the other cars behind it to crash into it and one another.

With a level of protection that is usually reserved for main characters, somehow all the cops crawled out of their burning vehicles without a scratch or burn.

"Damn these coppers! The 4Kids sure is strong with them."

A smaller man with a hat that looked like a...chicken...for some unknown reason, turned around. "Okay old folks. No need to thank us for saving you all from the fires of the crematory. We'll make sure to take you somewhere safe."

-Naruto Abridged-

"I-I can't believe they killed Clucky!" said one very sad Naruto.

Sakura sighed, rubbing her billboard forehead, which I actually never noticed till it was pointed out by the show. "So...does this make it a crossover fic now?"

"Who cares. I hear the fangirls coming. Lets get out of here Naruto, before its to late."

"Er...what about me Sasuke?"

"SWEET LUMPS ON THE LOG THEY'ER HERE ALREADY!"

"Th-th-they killed Clucky and made him into a hat! Whahahahah~"

-Told you I wouldn't last till the end of the chapter.-

And finally, the driver spoke. The hugest man in the group, for some crazy reason was on driving duty. "Duh...you think we'll really get their social security money by doing this?"

"Shut up and drive you moron! We're doing this out of the kindness in our hearts! The money is just...a bonus."

"Duh...okay. Bob will get back to driving."

"Look lively boys! We got a copter on our tail!"

Everyone turned, finding a yellow jet-copter closing in quickly behind them. If one squinted a little, a multicolor spec was coming in behind the copter as well, but everyone focused on the copter.

Videl quickly jumped down onto the bus top, flipping which way and that till she broke a window, shattered glass flying into all the elderly in the nearby area, as she landed inside.

Before the crook could even fire a shot, she had entered god mode. Correction. Satan mode. The cartoon-ish cloud of smoke appeared around the fight, random body parts emerging every now and then only to be pulled or punched back in. Those poor, bad...good...whatever guys never had a chance.

Smiling, Videl looked over her kill, not noticing that the huge man that had been driving was so big that being knocked out didn't cause him to relax on the gas. Of course, she never even thought to look in the first place. She could drive a jet-copter just fine, but a bus with these...primitive things called wheels was beyond her.

Before anyone could react, the bus was hurtling over the edge of a cliff that suddenly came out of nowhere, and Videl did what any hero would do in such a situation. She covered her eyes.

But strangely, the bus started to stop. Videl blinked, confused. Before she could check to see why however, they started to move up at a redneck pace.

And then there they were, back on top of the cliff where they bus had fallen. Everyone filed out to see their hero...only to find some crazy cooky with a helmet on. Videl wanted to smack herself. This guy had saved her? He looked more ridiculous than Batman did in the 80's.

"Y-you saved me?"

"Yes ma'am. Yes I did."

"Who...who are you?"

Even Videl was at a loss for words when she saw what happened next...and we all know how hard it is to get that to happen. In proper Saiyaman possition, hands in the shape of a v infront of his helmet and everything, the super hero smiled.

"I am the light in the d-"

"You used that in the first chapter."

"...but I stayed up two hours last night practicing it!"

"You used that too."

"Lies! The first time I was quoting Sailor Moon. This time I was quoting DBZ which was quoting Sailor Moon at the time. Its different."

"Sounds like a cop-out to me."

Straightening up, Gohan saluted the girl. "Well...no one asked you."

And in a flash, Gohan flew away.

Videl turned around, and look on as the super hero flew away. "Just you wait Antenai-sama-sensei-sam-suma-sensei-kun! I will know who you really are, or my name isn't Videl Theodore Satan!"

**Author's Annotation:**

I stand corrected. The second chapter was not easier than the first. And by the looks of it the next one is either going to be even harder...or really short. We'll have ta wait an see. Anywho, thanks for all the great feedback the first chapter got, I hope to get the same amount this time around!


	3. Fangirl Number Two

**~Black Star High~**

Chapter 3 – Fangirl Number Two

Gohan knew he shouldn't panic, he knew he should just stay calm. He also knew that this was a chance to snag a fangirl. But for the life of him, he couldn't stop his knee's from shaking after he landed on the roof one morning.

She was a soulless ginger after all.

"Uh, hey. Nice...weather we're having?"

"It's been alright I guess."

Okay...no need to panic. She kinda looked like a ditz in all honesty. Maybe she hadn't discovered her soulless powers yet.

"Say, you come up here often?"

"Not really. You?"

"Oh, every now and then. It's nice up here."

Oh...she was good at countering pickup lines. Very very good. Now, Gohan was a knowledgeable fighter. And if he had learned one thing over his years, it was to know when to cut your losses. He just couldn't possibly win over a soulless demon like a redhead.

"Well, I'm heading to class. See ya later." And with that Gohan rushed downstairs. Angela however turned to look on as he ran down.

Thinking to herself, she couldn't look away from the spiky haired teen. She started to blush as all the thoughts of corrupting his adorable little mind began to flood her two braincells.

As class began, Gohan's mind wandered off to try and come up with a way to win over the girls of the school. They sure were proving a challenge. Besides Videl and that tub top, none of them would really even speak to him. Crazy women. Didn't they know a main character when they saw one?

Even worse was that Videl, that one girl that would follow him wherever he went, wasn't even a fangirl. Just some creepy ninja stalker who wouldn't leave him alone. Talk about a horrible start to world conquest.

"Mr Gohan."

Maybe if he wore his outfit Bulma made for him more?

"...Mr Gohan?"

But for some reason people kept calling him that weird name whenever he changed into that. Did they seriously think he was some other person or something? No...they couldn't be that stupid. Of course they knew it was him.

"MR GOHAN!"

"Huh?"

Finally the teachers words reached the saiyan's ears. He had to blink a few times, wondering why the teacher was inches from his face. "Sir?"

"Oh, so that's how its going to be? Think you're too good to listen to me, huh? Well, let me tell you something. Only Sharpner's that good. Ya hear me?"

As the blond a few seats down smiled confidently, Gohan stood up in protest. "Oh come on. Sharpner? Really? But I'm the mai-"

"Enough! You can go stand out in the hall if you think you're all that."

As the entire class laughed at the new kid, and while Videl...sneezed?...Gohan slumped off towards the halls.

"And if you think you're so tough and cool like Sharpner, holding these heavy buckets of water should be a cinch. Can ya feel your shoulders burning Gohan?"

"Ohhh ya. I definitely can feel the burn. But isn't putting students through physical abuse against the law or something?"

"Law? In Satan City? The only law around here is Videl. You going to stop me Miss Videl?"

"Achoo!"

"I rest my case."

Grumbling, Gohan stood out in the hallway holding the buckets of water that were suppose to be heavy.

It was then that the unthinkable happened. Angela's case of fangirl advanced far past that of just a simple fangirl. She went even farther than the stage of a stalker...she became...!

A crazed fan-artist.

If your not running for cover now, you should be once you remember she's a ginger.

Abruptly, the woman stood up. "Mr Madison, I'm going to the hallway now."

"Stay back, foul beast!"

Soon enough, the girl was in the hall, silently stalking her unsuspecting pray.

"Hey!"

"Please don't let the ginger be talking to me, please don't let the ginger be talking to me."

"Gohan?"

"Dammit! … I, mean...hello?"

Quick question to all you readers out there. How do you get a ginger's mood to change?

"You got punished, huh?"

"Well...if you call this a punishment. I could've done this for hours on end when I was two."

"Oh, you don't have to act tough to get me to like you."

"...huh? But I'm not a-"

"Say, wanna go out tomorrow!"

"Who are you? I don't even know your name! Have we even ever met before?"

"You think I'm ugly, don't you! You're so mean Gohan!"

Answer: Wait twelve seconds.

"W-What? Mean? But I was just asking what your name was!"

"You're horrible! No wonder no one likes you!"

Now that kinda ground on Gohan's gears. "Fine! I'll go out with you tomorrow!"

Answer Correction: Wait...make that five seconds.

"Yay!" The redhead quickly jumped up and down happily. "You can come pick me up at one!"

Gohan just looked at her, his mouth slowly sliding open. "My god...What...have I done?"

"Maybe if you're lucky you'll get some sugar afterwords too!" said the blond, giggling the whole while.

All Gohan wanted to do was run. But her eyes...her soulless eyes, froze him in place. His hand moved up as his mouth dropped more and more...only for a cold bucket of water that he had forgotten he was holding dumped all over his side.

"Haha! Aww, look. You're wet already!"

Gohan just looked down at his soaked pants. Of all people, his first date had to be with a ginger?

-BSH-

"Hey Mom, I'm home."

"Oh ya? How was school? You get a girl friend yet? Any proposals? Possibly rich wives? Where are my grandchildren god dammit!"

"Actually, I do have a date tomorrow..."

"About time. You're what...17? 18?"

"We counting that year in the Time Chamber?"

"Nah."

"Then I'm 17. But to be honest I don't think it will work out."

"Why's that? She ugly or something?"

"Well...she's a ginger..."

Chi-Chi dropped whatever it was mothers do and turned around. "Are...you going to be okay?"

"If push comes to shove I'll just become a blond. I should be fine then."

"Do you even know what to do on a date?"

"Well...no not really. This is my first one after all."

"Sigh...I can remember my first date with Goku..."

-Many Many Years Ago-

"So...a date is a type of food, right?"

"No you...well, yes it is but that's not the point."

"Then what is the point?"

"You're the boy, so you're suppose to try to coax the girl into doing the most pleasurable thing imaginable."

And yes, that's the actual dialog in the show. She was what...ten years old at that time? Between her outfit and her knowledge about the birds and the bees, I'm guessing the Ox King wasn't the best father figure a person could hope for.

"...oh! I get it. The most pleasurable thing..."

"The hell are you touching!"

"But you were acting like you wanted it."

"I've changed my mind, I don't want it suddenly."

"But you kept leading me on! Like hell I'm gonna stop now."

"Ra-...I mean fire! Fire!"

"Oh stop struggling all ready! Hiya!"

And with one solid punch, Goku indented the tree. And the two pre-pre-teens fought for the rest of the day...

-BSH-

"Why do kids keep having sex at younger and younger ages? It's disgusting! How do they even know about this crap?"

"Best date...ever."

"Just wait... Your son just asked for dating advice...and you basically told him to go for broke? On the first date no less?"

"Eh, it should be fine."

"But she's a f-ing ginger!"

"Hmm, good point. But do they even make protection strong enough to hold up to that kind of punishment?"

Gohan resorted to his last hope, and pulled out his picture of a crab that he always carries. "Sebastian! What should I do? If you can't give me good advice, I might actually get killed!"

"Darling its better, down where it's wetter~"

"NoooooOOOooooo!"

-Mirai Timeline-

Trunks turned around, looking up at the sky as the faint sound of yelling reached his ears. "Huh?"

-BSH-

Gohan gulped. Okay, it shouldn't be that bad. Just a quick little date and he'd be free of her. Now just do what mom and dad did on their first date, minus the sex, and I should be fine. And if she breaks out her ginger powers, he'd just bring out his blond powers.

"Hey Gohan!"

"Right, lets get to it then."

Falcon...PUNCH!

"Holy crap! That dude just punched that chick's face off!"

"Its okay. She's a ginger."

"Oh... Never mind then."

-BSH-

Gohan sighed as he walked out of the large hospital building. It wasn't his fault she didn't dodge. The doctors didn't have to be that uptight about it.

Suddenly, an explosion rocked the area.

"Holy crap! What was that?"

Turning around, the hospital he had just been in had suddenly been consumed in flames. Gohan was quickly surrounded by a large crowd right under the building-

-because that's obviously the safest place to be-

-and he was able to hear them talk.

"They say a ginger was admitted, but the doctor didn't notice till it was to late. He wasn't able to administer the sedative, and she woke up!"

"Oh my god! We gotta get out of here! She'll kill everyone before she's done!"

Gohan gulped. Looked like a good time to get out of here.

And that was when he noticed a yellow jet-copter fly over the building. Crap. His fanbase currently consisted of Videl and that crazed ginger. He couldn't let all of his fans die today. He needed at least one. Dammit all.

Up in the sky Videl was currently talking to her new pilot. "Stop being a pansy and just land all ready!"

"No way Videl. Our weight would bring the building down. We can't help em if we're dead!"

"...did you just call me fat?"

"Uh..."

"You did! You just called me fat!"

And now we know why we never saw this pilot again.

After one killed pilot later, Videl jumped down onto the building and rushed over to a water tank conveniently placed right there for her. Rushing over, she quickly grabbed the wheel to release the water but was surprised when she was burned by the hot metal.

Wario's cousin, Russian Wario was on site for the sarcastic remark. "Ya, wesa didn't see that-a coming."

In a flash, Antenai-sama-sensei-sam-suma-sensei-kun appeared next to Videl. "Careful! Always make sure to check metal with the back of your hand to see if they are hot before grabbing a hold."

"Save the public announcement and release the water!"

And with one punch, Gohan opened a giant hole in the water container. Instead of just covering the roof of the building and then flowing off, the water went down floor by floor, flooding each room and putting out all the fire. Yes, that's right. That one tiny little water tank somehow contained enough water for that entire skyscraper, including the elevator shafts.

Take that logic.

But once again Antenai-sama-sensei-sam-suma-sensei-kun had saved the day. And by saved the day I mean saved the ten or so floors that were suffering from fire damage by inflicting ALL the floors with water damage.

Later on, Gohan was making that hasty retreat had had been planning on making. Needless to say he didn't get that far.

"Gohan!"

"Y-Yes Videl?"

"What are you doing here? What on earth are you warring? Do you like yellow or something? Does yellow make people look slimmer? I look slim right? Do you think I'm fat? You think I look fat, don't you!"

"Its sad...if you only had red hair I could keep these ginger jokes going cause of your personality."

"Please. You'll be thankful that I don't have red hair when I get you into my bed. I wont gag you, just tie you up."

"...wha-"

"What?"

"Gohan!"

Before Gohan and Videl's little exchange could finish...flames from the depths of hell shot up from behind him. Slowly turning...he saw the last thing he wanted to see.

"Ahh! She found me all ready!"

"Who's she? Have you been cheating on me Gohan?"

"Now is neither the time nor the place Videl."

"You have, haven't you! What's her name?"

"Thats the thing! I don't have a god damn clue!"

Angela...that's her name, right? Anyway, the redhead, let the flames behind her lower to a small simmer. "Videl? You've been running around behind my back Gohan! Prepare for your _punishment_..."

"Well...it doesn't sound that ba-"

"Your GINGER punishment!"

"Dear merciful Dende save me!"

Videl took a confident step forward. "Back off redhead. Gohan's mine to torment."

"Nu-uh. This hunk of man is mine!"

"Ladies...ladies. There's enough Gohan to go arou-"

Both of them turned to look at him. "Shut up and wait there!"

Gohan did the only thing he could think of to save himself now that they both were pissed at him. He had to activate his blond powers. That was the only way. And so, he let out a epic battle cry...

...only for his hair to fail and not get up for him. Talk about embarrassing...and infront of two girls too.

In the battle that ensued, Videl took on the ginger. The planet rumbled. The town was nearly reduced to rubble...but at the end of the day...

Girls with pig-tails are scarier than gingers after all.

**-Author's Annotation-**

This chapter was not easy to twist around. Lots of chances for sexual jokes though, so I had to make due. Forgive me gingers. Its not that I hate you, its just that without that running gag this chapter would have totaled out at 800 words. Like I said, this chapter did not give me much to work with.

I wanted to fit a Dance with the Devil song reference in there too. I guess that'll have to wait for Dabura. Anywho, remember to review!


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